In September 2004, I was diagnosed with HIV and Hepatitis C. Only in the following year did I realize the impact that these medical diagnoses had on my life as I started putting my life together after dealing with meth and homelessness.
 
This book is about that journey of recovery. Gay men struggle with many issues—from age to HIV—as we strive to understand how to fit into this culture. It’s dawning on some of us that we are now the adults in the room, no longer the pretty young thing at the end of the bar. Some of us turn to religion and spirituality to navigate the challenges of living as a gay man.
 
This book is my attempt to make sense of living in this world as gracefully as I can, despite anger, fear, the impact that being sexually abused has had on me, and my shame around being HIV-positive. I am far from the only gay man who has been told the big lie: “You will never be happy.” When it comes to recovery, there is no right or wrong way to tackle addiction; there are ways that work for me but that may not work for you and vice versa. There are many pathways to recovery. This book is about mine.